We wish you could have met him
We wish you could have seen
His hands, his toes, his hair, his nose
And everything between

We wish you could have held him
We wish you could have felt
The softness of his precious skin
That made our hearts just melt

We know it’s hard to understand
We know it’s hard to show
The feelings for a little boy
You never got to know

We have a son so beautiful
We have a son who’s here
In everything we say and do
In every smile or tear

We want you to still see him
And feel his precious touch
He’s such a special little boy
Who loves you very much

Author: Stephen Tallamy

I felt an angel near today,
Though one I could not see,
I felt an angel, oh, so close,
Sent to comfort me.

I felt an angel’s gentle kiss,
Soft upon my cheek,
And oh, whitout a single word
Of caring it did speak.

I felt an angels loving touch,
Soft upon my heart,
And with that touch, I felt the pain
And hurt within depart.

I felt an angel’s tepid tears,
Fall softly next to mine
And knew that as those tears did dry
A new day would be mine.

I felt an angel’s silken wings
Enfold me with pure love
And felt a strength within me grow
A strength sent from above.

I felt an angel, oh so close
Though one I could not see
I felt an angel near today,
Sent to comfort me.

Author: Unknown

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world,
seem wonderful and mild

Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud,
before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult still
somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be “Goodbye.”

So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.

Author: Unknown

God looked around his garden
And found an empty place;
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest;
God’s garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering,
He knew you were in pain,
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.

He saw the roads were getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb;
So he closed your weary eyelids
And, whispered “peace be thine”.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn’t go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

Author: Lindsey Zacher

Standing out against the crisp blue;
This Angel in the morning sky.
Face so beautifully soft and radiant;
Not a trace of pain.
Only peace and love showing through.
Wings outstretched; Inviting.
Eager to embrace.

This Angel in the sky; free.
Frolicking happily amongst wispy clouds and rainbows;
Reunited with family and friends of days gone by,
Along the way.

This Angel in the sky;
Forever guiding our footsteps;
Forever holding our hands;
Forever brushing away the tears of sadness from our
eyes, and kissing our lips with love;

This Angel in the sky;
Forever having a sacred place of honour;
In the hearts and minds of those who love them, on
earth.

This Angel in the sky, forever a blessing.
Never to be forgotten.

Author: Joy S. Mixon

My Mum, she tells a lot of lies,
she never did before
But from now until she dies,
She’ll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my Mum how she is,
And because she can’t explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can’t describe the pain.

Ask my Mum how she is,
She’ll say “I’m alright.”
If that is the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?

Ask my Mum how she is
She seems to cope so well,
She didn’t have a choice you see,
Nor the strenght to yell.

Ask my Mum how she is,
“I’m fine, I’m well, I’m coping.”
For God’s sake Mum, Just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.

She’ll love me all her life
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She’ll lie and say she’s fine.

I am here in Heaven
I cannot hug her from here.
If she lies to you don’t listen
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
We’ll smile and I’ll be bold.
I’ll say,
“You’re lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told!”

Author: Joanne Burr

The door is closed. The lights turned off.
The closet stands bare.
All the room once waiting…
For the child that should be there.

Sorrow wells up inside of us.
Our tears, an endless flow.
All because we miss the child…
The child we’ll never know.

No camping trips, No soccer games,
Nor late evening talks,
No baseball camps or shopping trips
No shaded moutain walks.

We have not even memories
To help through times like these
We only have each other,
as we go down on our knees…

To plead with you, our Father,
To take this pain away…
To help us know your love
will guide us through each day.

We may never know the reasons
For this terrible tragedy;
But we can know you love us
through all life’s mysteries.

Our time was far too brief;
It was over before its start…
But our little angel left behind
Footprints Across Our Heart

Author: W.Patrick Queen

Tiny angel rest your wings,
sit with me for a while.
How I long to hold your hand,
and see your tender smile.

Tiny angel, look at me,
I want this image clear…
That I will forget your precious face,
Is my biggest fear.

Tiny angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren’t here for very long…
Why is it, you couldn’t stay?

Tiny angel shook his head,
“These things I do not know…
But I do know that you love me,
and that I love you so.”

Author: Unknown

Oliver’s Story is a series of posts sharing the experiences of a friend as she comes to terms with the loss of her baby boy, born in October 2005.

When I first discovered I was pregnant in March 2003 I was so shocked. Newly married and living with my mother in law it was not something we had planned. I was amazed it even happened because we had purposely missed that day 14 everyone talks about. However I have since learnt I do not have a 28 day cycle more a 48 so when I was thinking it was safe I was actually very fertile.

Newly pregnant I was blissfully unaware of what a miscarriage was. We saw the little peanut shaped baby at 9 weeks with a beating heart and I continued in a blissful blur and developed a small bump. I became concerned of failing symptoms but all the time I did not bleed I assumed everything to be well within.

It was not so, our baby had died somewhere between the 9th and 13th week. It was called a ‘missed miscarriage’ and I had to have a D&C and a night in hospital.

‘Pregnancy’, once blissful and magical was never to be again!

Pregnancy number 2 was as brief as it took those two lines to appear; the very next week I bled ‘a natural miscarriage’.

Pregnancy number 3 came before my next period and was a surprise and also a nightmare. I could not believe I had opened myself up to more stress, more tears and another loss.

But she continued to grow along with my immense fear of losing her, right up until her birth and even beyond I had every alarm going. While she was growing inside I used the Doppler (my own) and then when my beautiful baby girl Eleanor was born I had an alarm under her bed, should she stop breathing. Gone were the days when, at 12 weeks pregnant, you start talking names and painting the nursery.

But then there was Ollie. My husband and I were sitting in our garden on a summer’s day in May our 10-month-old baby girl upstairs asleep and we decided we wanted another child. So the decision was made and 3 weeks later I was pregnant. As easy as that, and strangely enough I was not scared this time. Everything was good. All the signs were good. Our first child born in July, my sister’s first born in July, seven years before. Our second now due in Feb, my sister’s second was in February 2004 all within days of her children, mine were either born or due. Got to work right?!

I flew past the 12 week scan, I was confident this would mean I would have a baby so I began to experience the rush of a first time mother to be. I felt this pregnancy would re-write all my losses, I had one beautiful girl and now another on the way. I felt the flutters turn into light kicks, life was good. But it was not to last and before I knew it I experienced a stillbirth.

So therefore, should I be lucky enough to have another ‘pregnancy’, to me means uncertainty, anxiety, dread and maybe, hopefully, a baby. Pregnancy is described as lasting normally 9 months, but for me its normally 13 months, that’s how long I was pregnant on and off until I was blessed with Ellie and although there is normally a gap in between its still manages to feel like I am pregnant forever.
I long to be pregnant again, but for now I am enjoying the break, worry free for a little while longer.

Oliver’s Story is a series of posts sharing the experiences of a friend as she comes to terms with the loss of her baby boy, born in October 2005.

Ok I am not one to be scared of many things but during my school years I had a big phobia of spiders. If I saw one I would sweat and my heart would race I would not be able to take my eyes off the thing so that it would not escape and hide under my bed. I still dislike them but I can deal with them

When I became a mother to my daughter Eleanor I developed a few phobias that came out of my primal instinct to protect her at all costs. One being flying, it did not stop me flying from London to Washington to visit my sister. In fact my daughter, who is only 18 months, has done the same trip four times in her brief life. But on each occasion I cannot sleep a week before. I start getting night sweats and feel so mean taking my precious daughter half way around the world for my benefit. But we always survive and I promise not to do it until she can say “mama, I want to go”.

But since the death of Oliver I have a new phobia to deal with and unfortunately it is pregnant women. Before Oliver I would marvel the beauty of pregnancy, now my heart races and my hands sweet and I want to throw up. The mere mention of another friend or family member’s pregnancy sends me into mourning. It still remains beautiful and mesmerizing, but to me it’s a painful reminder of what could have been, what should have been, mine.

I don’t want to be this bitter and sad person that I have become. I don’t like the side of my personality that comes out when I see my friends pregnancy’s flying past all my milestones. It is not that I am not happy for them, indeed I am, but I am angry that I have become a woman with frequent miscarriages and a stillbirth to add to her list.

Yes I know I am lucky that I have a daughter, thank you for saying. Oh and I know I am lucky I can get pregnant when so many can’t. But, you know what, I did not feel lucky the day I gave birth to Oliver or the day I gave him back to the earth. I did not also feel lucky having to endure a second D&C.

This said, the day I left Oliver at the hospital and was wheeled out empty handed I entered my home and into the arms of my sweet, veggie-mite-smelling, Ellie. I picked her up and she cuddled into me. When she saw my tears she handed me her dirty, much loved, blankie. I looked around, the room was full of her building blocks and her little socks were laying there, her bibs, her things were everywhere and I thanked God for her.